More Stupid Rambling...

I have no idea where I am in my life.
In my friends, no matter what group of them, I am the outcast.
In my family, everyone judges me, maybe they love me, but it sucks being judged.
I want to help the poor.
I need a job and a car.
I want someone to care about me the way I care about them.
I guess I need someone as serious as I am.
I assume I'm a high maintenance Boyfriend, whenever it is that I do get the title, "Boyfriend"

ugh.
I'm so sick of being alone.
and everyone tells me that, "Koda, you'll find the girl, just wait for her."
ITS THE SAME THING AS LOOKING AT BOLOGNA AND CHEESE, MUSTARD, AND BREAD AND WAITING FOR IT TO MAKE A SANDWICH OUT OF ITSELF!

I'm so sick of that reply when I say stuff like this.
UGH!!!!

Around the grapevine.

It's been a while.
But I've felt it for so long.
and now that it's a possibility,
I'm too scared to approach the situation.
It's just another one of those, age stops everything situations.
and I'm a pansy.
because you're a little older than me.
haha, darn.

on a plus side,
Drumline was decent, I am so worn out!!!
Then Pacific Citchen was great...
yeah, we call it Citchen...
haha it was a wonderful spelling error!

hmmm.....
what else to say?
who knows.
haha
well thanks for reading!!!

Where are we?

There are so many things going through my head on a regular basis.
Who am I?
What is my purpose?
Who is She?
Who will She be?
What kind of a Man will I become?
Will I graduate on time?
When will my mother stop treating me like a child?
When will I forgive?
How come they are so popular?
How come they have money and I don't?
Why do I struggle so much with females?
Why does every "Perfection" have its torturing effect?
Why do I try so hard?
Do I try hard enough?
Why does age limit my whole life?
Why do we hate so much?
Should I be vegetarian?
Why do I weigh 200+ pounds?
Will I ever get over my fathers death?
Why don't they care?
When will I stop pretending to be "cool"?
When will I be satisfied with myself?
When will I get married?
Will I have children?
How come the right girls want the wrong guys?
How come the ones I want are taken?
Where will I find myself?
Why Can't I help EVERYONE?

I think about these things so much.
Each and every moment of every day, that I am awake, questions like these storm my mind.
Questions flood my brain for some reason...
I wish people would stop holding me back because they think I'm not strong enough, not good enough, not smart enough or not old enough.
I hate when people underestimate me!
and I hate feeling like I have to prove something to the world.
People don't get it.
Maybe I shouldn't care at all,
But I do.

Maybe I'm meant to experience heartache?
Maybe I am supposed to have cheating girlfriends to make me stronger?
Maybe.
But that's not what I want.
I try my best to be the respectable,
loving,
happy,
outgoing boy for girls.
I try to be the best that I can be,
I refrain from sexual bullcrap.
I never cheat nor do I feel a reason to.
I don't have a reason to make a girl feel bad.
I Mess up, I worry that I'm not good enough constantly.
I want a girl who will understand me,
Like me for me, because that's all I have,
A girl who knows and gets along with me and my friends.

I Hate age, just because I happen to be 16 years old, I'm not good enough.
I'm immature, I don't know how I really feel and that's bullshit.
Because I do know how I feel, and I can explain it in great detail even.
Maybe I am Young but don't judge me till you really know if I'm Immature or not.
Thanks!
we all make stupid immature jokes from time to time.

I don't like girls in my grade, never really have, Don't think I ever will.
To be honest I'm in to Older Girls,
Point Blank.
and because I'm 16, I have no option.
No older girl wants a younger Boy.

It's been so long since I've been on this blog,
sorry to blow up all of a sudden.
Just givin ya something to read.

also check out my other blog at:
http://thisclockticks.blogspot.com

its my poems and whatever.

Thanks Guys and Gals!
-Koda

And Just When We Thought We Were Safe...

America rips off Our heads and takes a massive ozone covered dump in our throats.

LaDeDa...
the end.

Living In My Own Little Whatever

I am pretty sure,
most of everything i say has no point.
so with that said....
Wiggle Diggle Do How The Freak Are You?

ha...

But seriously, im tired of getting stepped on by females...
i try so hard to be with someone then the stab me in the testicles.
I cant take it anymore, they're starting to look like hamburger...
Female Race stop leading me on!

I found out that i have friends i might move in with, well, we talked about it.
i hope it actually happens, that would be so cool.
though i say that now, things could change. hope not though.

Myspace sucks,
Twitter is only good for BLOWING ME!
Aim slobs knob,
facebook is the stuff.
and so is blogger.


the picture at the top is, YES, my puppy Ellie :)
she's a little bigger now.


The End.

Hey ladies drop it down Just want to see you touch the ground Don't be shy girl go Bananza Shake ya body like a belly dancer

You Had My Trust

But You Lost It All.

Thanks.