Where are we?

There are so many things going through my head on a regular basis.
Who am I?
What is my purpose?
Who is She?
Who will She be?
What kind of a Man will I become?
Will I graduate on time?
When will my mother stop treating me like a child?
When will I forgive?
How come they are so popular?
How come they have money and I don't?
Why do I struggle so much with females?
Why does every "Perfection" have its torturing effect?
Why do I try so hard?
Do I try hard enough?
Why does age limit my whole life?
Why do we hate so much?
Should I be vegetarian?
Why do I weigh 200+ pounds?
Will I ever get over my fathers death?
Why don't they care?
When will I stop pretending to be "cool"?
When will I be satisfied with myself?
When will I get married?
Will I have children?
How come the right girls want the wrong guys?
How come the ones I want are taken?
Where will I find myself?
Why Can't I help EVERYONE?

I think about these things so much.
Each and every moment of every day, that I am awake, questions like these storm my mind.
Questions flood my brain for some reason...
I wish people would stop holding me back because they think I'm not strong enough, not good enough, not smart enough or not old enough.
I hate when people underestimate me!
and I hate feeling like I have to prove something to the world.
People don't get it.
Maybe I shouldn't care at all,
But I do.

Maybe I'm meant to experience heartache?
Maybe I am supposed to have cheating girlfriends to make me stronger?
Maybe.
But that's not what I want.
I try my best to be the respectable,
loving,
happy,
outgoing boy for girls.
I try to be the best that I can be,
I refrain from sexual bullcrap.
I never cheat nor do I feel a reason to.
I don't have a reason to make a girl feel bad.
I Mess up, I worry that I'm not good enough constantly.
I want a girl who will understand me,
Like me for me, because that's all I have,
A girl who knows and gets along with me and my friends.

I Hate age, just because I happen to be 16 years old, I'm not good enough.
I'm immature, I don't know how I really feel and that's bullshit.
Because I do know how I feel, and I can explain it in great detail even.
Maybe I am Young but don't judge me till you really know if I'm Immature or not.
Thanks!
we all make stupid immature jokes from time to time.

I don't like girls in my grade, never really have, Don't think I ever will.
To be honest I'm in to Older Girls,
Point Blank.
and because I'm 16, I have no option.
No older girl wants a younger Boy.

It's been so long since I've been on this blog,
sorry to blow up all of a sudden.
Just givin ya something to read.

also check out my other blog at:
http://thisclockticks.blogspot.com

its my poems and whatever.

Thanks Guys and Gals!
-Koda